Healthy Traits In A Family Or Relationship

1. Genuine relationships are HONEST with each other. No lying and withholding information. 

2. You completely TRUST each other. Without trust, there is no relationship.

3. They are your biggest cheerleaders.

4. You can trust each other with everything including your house and your money.

5. They tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

6. They hold you accountable.

7. They’re the first person you call when something amazing happens.

8. They’ll always pick up the phone when you call.

9. They’re the first to apologize when they mess up.

10. They have your back. They are loyal and defend you.

11. You have inside jokes galore.

12. They’re the best person to have a deep conversation with.

13. They care about how they make you feel. 

14. They check in on you, even when they have big things going on.

15. They pray with and for you.

16. They will tell you the truth even if it means losing you when you are doing something sinful. 

17. They care more about your soul and your well-being than their needs.

18. They regularly encourage you and tell you how much you mean to them and God.

19. You spend quality time together at each other's homes, and each other's family, and share each other's friends.

20. They are consistent and reliable.

21. They do what they say including" I'll call you right back" or "I'll call you tonight". 

22. They don't create drama for you, they are mature.

23. You feel loved by them.

24. They find ways to bless you.

25. The hug they give you makes you feel loved.

26. They respect you. 

27. Your enemies are their enemies.

28. Your God is their God.

29. You feel emotionally, spiritually, and physically safe with them.

30. They genuinely sit and listen to you without interrupting and show care and empathy.

31. They don't want to lose you and fight for you.

How To Reconcile With Your Partner After An Infidelity

If you want to reconcile with your partner after infidelity, without a doubt this is a problem that can be more complicated to solve than the previous ones, since a sincere relationship is something basic and with this gesture, trust is broken.

Even if you try to follow some of the advice mentioned above, if you have not first made sure that your partner has truly forgiven you for infidelity, it is most likely that nothing will work for you, you will always feel insecurity, distrust, jealousy, etc. 

For this reason, the first thing to do in these cases is, after confessing to infidelity and sincerely asking for forgiveness, give your partner the necessary space to process what happened and decide what to do on their part. If he decides that he forgives you for the infidelity and that he wants to move on, then you can start following the tips explained at the beginning.

In any case, remember that even if you have asked for forgiveness, infidelity is usually a wound that costs more to close and that is why you have to be patient, as well as respect each other's space and wishes until you can finally give up. sincere reconciliation. 

Thus, if you both want to save the relationship and put everything on your side, you can.

How To Confess Infidelity

Have you been unfaithful to your partner? It is time to be consistent with your actions and explain to your partner what has happened. It is time to take control of the situation and give your relationship a dose of reality and truth. Although we know that it is a difficult decision to make and a hard pill to swallow, we believe that relationships always work when they are based on trust and sincerity.

We do not know if your partner will be able to forgive you, nor can we assure you that everything will go well, but what you will achieve with your confession will be to have a clear conscience and not have your partner deceived. Take note.

Steps To Follow:

1. Committing infidelity is not fun. The causes of this slip can occur for different reasons, but whatever they are, your partner should know. You must be sincere so that your relationship, if it continues, is always based on trust, on the other hand, infidelity is not a closed paradigm since it depends on the context, the state of the relationship, and even the confusing feelings that can appear at a certain time.

2. Facing up to telling a truth is not an easy task, but it is more satisfying for oneself. You cannot allow yourself to live in a lie, much less have your partner deceived, so the first thing you must be clear about before confessing to infidelity is that it is a serious mistake and that you feel sorry for it. Being clear about it yourself will help you make your partner understand that it is a slip that has meant nothing to you.

 3. Before you sit in front of your partner, analyze the situation of your relationship. This step is important, since the infidelity may have been committed as a result of a crisis. Perhaps this slip is the result of a difficult context between the two, of a delicate and complicated moment in the relationship. It is important that you can argue your infidelity if you want to save your relationship.

4. On the other hand, it is necessary to know what kind of relationship you have. If it is based on trust, if you tell each other everything, if it is an open relationship, or, on the contrary, if you are conservative. Depending based on your relationship, your partner will forgive said slip or not; It is also worth asking yourself if an infidelity how much you are going to damage or make your partner suffer with such a confession, taking into account, on the other hand, the seriousness of the infidelity.

5. Once you have made a small balance, assessing the pros and cons of telling the truth or hiding your deception, you must make a decision: tell it or not. It is evident that by telling it, there is a risk that your partner will make the decision to break with everything and not forgive you, at least when you are together. But will you be able to move forward with a clear conscience of not having shared?

6. If you decide to act and tell your partner everything, think carefully about what you will say, how you will say it, and consider the consequences of your confession. Shuffle all the possibilities and draw up a strategy based on argumentation. You know your partner well so touch those necessary keys so that he understands and accepts your slip. Of course, never hold her responsible for it, assume your mistake, because even if it is the result of different circumstances, it is only yours.

7. Report and apologize. This is the best strategy you can follow. Be aware that your partner is going to question you and that the blow will mean a loss of trust. We do not recommend basing your argument on cheap promises, but we do recommend that you give your partner incentives to believe in you and to understand that it will not happen again in the future.

8. Once the infidelity has been confessed, you must be prepared for a gray time. Your partner will have lost trust in you and will have the right and freedom to make a decision. Meanwhile, you will have to arm yourself with patience, because you will probably have to endure reproaches for a while. We know that they will hit you like a jug of cold water, but if you are aware of the mistake you have committed, you must accept these blows with humility and conscience.

9. Do you love your partner? Fight for her! Yes, you've made a mistake, but it won't happen again. If it's really worth it for you to move on with your relationship, you should work to heal your partner's wounds. The long-distance race will begin with the reconquest and you must put effort into it so that your partner regains confidence in you. Of course, you must leave a space for him to assimilate, accept and make a decision about your future. Lucky!

Reasons Men Won’t Forgive a Cheating Wife

Infidelity is one of the most difficult problems to overcome in any couple, in fact, most of the time this act ends up breaking the relationship. Pain, anger, sadness, or disappointment are some of the feelings that the unfaithful person goes through. The reason is that this act not only implies a betrayal, but you will also be throwing overboard one of the bases of any relationship: trust.

1. Sexually Transmitted Diseases:

One of the risks of infidelity is that an unprotected sexual relationship has been committed.

Promiscuity and unprotected sex can be really dangerous. Indeed, numerous sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV, or genital herpes can be spread just at a time when we decide to stop having safe sex with our partner and embark on an adventure.

Thus, you must bear in mind that the unfaithful person has not only betrayed you emotionally but also has not taken your integrity and health into account. That is, his immaturity toward her and her sexual need of her have been higher than the priority of caring for and protecting you.

Also, if you are not sure that your partner is going to change and you think that he will continue to be unfaithful in the future, you should keep this point in mind when considering whether you should forgive infidelity: Your health above all.

2. Self-esteem Wound:

Many people tend to blame themselves for their partner's infidelity. In fact, it is often the case of some men (or women) who blame their partners after having betrayed them: sex is not the same, we have fallen into a routine, etc.

In any case, it is a form of manipulation and not assuming the consequences of a personal, immature, and selfish choice. No one is to blame for their partner being unfaithful.

However, sometimes manipulation works and the deceived person ends up suffering a wound to their self-esteem, even taking responsibility for the betrayal of the other member of the couple.

For this reason, you must bear in mind that forgiving infidelity means having to live with that wound, recover from it and learn to see things clearly.

On the other hand, the wound may make you wake up and realize that it is not worth the pain and feel worthless. If they make you feel guilty for the acts of others, then perhaps it is better to put an end to it and give yourself time.

3. You Can't Trust Again:

We explained that trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a relationship. Infidelity breaks and destroys this base and undermines what has been created for a long time with dedication and effort because a relationship is not found, it is built.

In this sense, infidelity is contempt against what has been done together for so long. It has not been taken into account, it has not been enough not to give in to whim or desire. Everything is trampled.

Also, how to trust a person who has been unfaithful again? Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to regain it. Forgiving infidelity is exposing yourself to live in fear that it will happen again in the future.

4. You Can Forgive, But You Can't Forget:

As we know, it is one thing to forgive and quite another to forget. Furthermore, events as painful as infidelity can rarely be erased from memory. It is one of the reasons why regaining trust is so difficult.

Therefore, you must bear in mind that you will surely never be able to forget that you have been unfaithful. In this way, reproach can always arise, along with discomfort, pain, hurt, and anger.

And perhaps the relationship will not return to what it was. Because infidelity can likely be overcome from a rational point of view. However, from an emotional point of view, things are more complicated or more difficult to handle.

5. It Can Happen Again:

An unfaithful person is very likely to be unfaithful more than once. As sexologist Tracey Cox explains in Hot Relationships: How to have one if someone has developed a pattern of "cheating" in life, chances are good that they continue to do so.

In addition, once trust is destroyed, the cheater promises that "he will not do it again" may be just words in the air. Distrust will reign in the relationship and the second blow may be even harder for the pride, dignity, and self-esteem of the person deceived.

6. Public Shame:

When we are victims of infidelity, we have the feeling that they are pointing fingers at us, as if we were guilty of something. Maybe we are not, but we cannot avoid someplace that labels us.

The truth of the case is that, around a relationship, there are other people: friends, and family; The news often reaches them too. Before them, we can feel shame, and discomfort; even without having to talk about the situation.

We don't necessarily have to pay attention to others, who are not interested parties in the relationship. However, if you are going to forgive the infidelity, remember that you can be judged for doing so.

7. Suffer In Vain:

You drowned in a sea of ​​tears, and you spent sleepless nights wondering why, maybe you got drunk or ate too much chocolate. But if you now forgive the infidelity, all that will have been suffering in vain.

8. He Just Doesn't Love You Anymore:

The last reason could well be the first. If he decided to be with another person, it is because what you offer him in the relationship no longer seems enough, from an emotional or sexual point of view.

When Another Woman Is Getting Your Husband's Attention

You need to get up as wife and break that flow. I didn't say fight, accuse him of affair, scatter everywhere or warn him, I said, break the flow...the growing bond between them.

Sometimes people wait till it is too late before thinking of forestalling an impending danger.

If your husband keeps praising a particular woman whether friend, colleague, mentor, mentee, Pastor's wife, counsellor, etc., you need to find out what she is doing to him, give him double and phase her out of his life. Call it competition, YES.

If he praises her dressing, he is attracted to her dressing, you must consciously step up the way you dress, if it is the time and attention she gives him, you have to spend more time with him and give him extra attention, if it is her cooking skill, you need to step up, if it is the admiration and respect she shows him, you need to do more.

People go where their needs are met. Men go where their needs are met.

If you don't meet his needs and another woman does so, he will bond without even knowing why! Not everyone carries their Two legs to go look for affair. Affair sometimes happen to love starved men and women!

Break the bond between them consciously, prayerfully, wisely and quietly. Warning him to desist from such women is the last thing to do if every other method didn't work.

Men will do well to tell their wives their needs and teach her to meet them before they reach their breaking point.

Once you notice a man is giving you excessive attention as a woman, you need to move back so he can concentrate on his marriage.

A counselee once told me I was giving him the attention his wife ought to because I often check up on him online and ask how he is fairing. The moment I heard that, I reduced the conversation and  requested both he and his wife should come for counselling.

I told a man experiencing some financial set back he could get his fortune back if he aimed high, believe and talk like a rich man. He changed his mindset and speech. He told me his wife made jest of him and doused his fire! I encouraged him more, the wife doused the fire more! I stopped encouraging and faced my business as he seemed to want to spend more time with me and even liked my hair! I never encouraged him again. If the wife couldn't do it, it's none of my business.

Don't tempt the devil to tempt you! Stay off anyone showing you the affection, attention and love you need to get from your spouse.