Infidelity is one of the most difficult problems to overcome in any couple, in fact, most of the time this act ends up breaking the relationship. Pain, anger, sadness, or disappointment are some of the feelings that the unfaithful person goes through. The reason is that this act not only implies a betrayal, but you will also be throwing overboard one of the bases of any relationship: trust.
1. Sexually Transmitted Diseases:
One of the risks of infidelity is that an unprotected sexual relationship has been committed.
Promiscuity and unprotected sex can be really dangerous. Indeed, numerous sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV, or genital herpes can be spread just at a time when we decide to stop having safe sex with our partner and embark on an adventure.
Thus, you must bear in mind that the unfaithful person has not only betrayed you emotionally but also has not taken your integrity and health into account. That is, his immaturity toward her and her sexual need of her have been higher than the priority of caring for and protecting you.
Also, if you are not sure that your partner is going to change and you think that he will continue to be unfaithful in the future, you should keep this point in mind when considering whether you should forgive infidelity: Your health above all.
2. Self-esteem Wound:
Many people tend to blame themselves for their partner's infidelity. In fact, it is often the case of some men (or women) who blame their partners after having betrayed them: sex is not the same, we have fallen into a routine, etc.
In any case, it is a form of manipulation and not assuming the consequences of a personal, immature, and selfish choice. No one is to blame for their partner being unfaithful.
However, sometimes manipulation works and the deceived person ends up suffering a wound to their self-esteem, even taking responsibility for the betrayal of the other member of the couple.
For this reason, you must bear in mind that forgiving infidelity means having to live with that wound, recover from it and learn to see things clearly.
On the other hand, the wound may make you wake up and realize that it is not worth the pain and feel worthless. If they make you feel guilty for the acts of others, then perhaps it is better to put an end to it and give yourself time.
3. You Can't Trust Again:
We explained that trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a relationship. Infidelity breaks and destroys this base and undermines what has been created for a long time with dedication and effort because a relationship is not found, it is built.
In this sense, infidelity is contempt against what has been done together for so long. It has not been taken into account, it has not been enough not to give in to whim or desire. Everything is trampled.
Also, how to trust a person who has been unfaithful again? Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to regain it. Forgiving infidelity is exposing yourself to live in fear that it will happen again in the future.
4. You Can Forgive, But You Can't Forget:
As we know, it is one thing to forgive and quite another to forget. Furthermore, events as painful as infidelity can rarely be erased from memory. It is one of the reasons why regaining trust is so difficult.
Therefore, you must bear in mind that you will surely never be able to forget that you have been unfaithful. In this way, reproach can always arise, along with discomfort, pain, hurt, and anger.
And perhaps the relationship will not return to what it was. Because infidelity can likely be overcome from a rational point of view. However, from an emotional point of view, things are more complicated or more difficult to handle.
5. It Can Happen Again:
An unfaithful person is very likely to be unfaithful more than once. As sexologist Tracey Cox explains in Hot Relationships: How to have one if someone has developed a pattern of "cheating" in life, chances are good that they continue to do so.
In addition, once trust is destroyed, the cheater promises that "he will not do it again" may be just words in the air. Distrust will reign in the relationship and the second blow may be even harder for the pride, dignity, and self-esteem of the person deceived.
6. Public Shame:
When we are victims of infidelity, we have the feeling that they are pointing fingers at us, as if we were guilty of something. Maybe we are not, but we cannot avoid someplace that labels us.
The truth of the case is that, around a relationship, there are other people: friends, and family; The news often reaches them too. Before them, we can feel shame, and discomfort; even without having to talk about the situation.
We don't necessarily have to pay attention to others, who are not interested parties in the relationship. However, if you are going to forgive the infidelity, remember that you can be judged for doing so.
7. Suffer In Vain:
You drowned in a sea of tears, and you spent sleepless nights wondering why, maybe you got drunk or ate too much chocolate. But if you now forgive the infidelity, all that will have been suffering in vain.
8. He Just Doesn't Love You Anymore:
The last reason could well be the first. If he decided to be with another person, it is because what you offer him in the relationship no longer seems enough, from an emotional or sexual point of view.